F-U-C-K-E-D

No use beating around the bush. It's been a very rough couple of days at work. The job is finally picking up but in the worst possible way. I've got a friend, and she's very very technologically oriented and she's an editor essentially slumming it as an assistant. Me? Not so much. I'm a reformed camera girl. You want to talk about cameras, or shots, or lighting, or how hard the classic "Vertigo" shot is to actually do, then I'm your girl. Post Production? Not so much. Plus remember that slow training to ease my way in? Never happened. So yesterday I got my first job...something that would have been simple to anyone else that works at the company. Yesterday ended with 45 minutes of crying and a 2:50 am phone call to my boss.

Today? 14 hours and I'm wiped out. I didn't even do all that much. It's just from all the stress. I'm totally freaking out about this whole thing (worrying is one of the things I do best!). Again today I got basically no training and as of Tuesday the major project becomes mine. Sounds like fun eh? I have no idea what I'm going to do. I understand that in the grand scheme of things this is completely unimportant. There are wars and hurricanes and starvation and homelessness; for fuck sake Bush is President. Yes, next week they could realize that I don't know what I'm doing and I could lose my job. But how upsetting would that really be? It's not like I couldn't get a job somewhere else if I put a little effort into it. But being the perfectionist that I am, I'd really like to be able to do things perfectly by magic. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen...